What is your ideal weight?

5 tips for finding your happy weight....

If you're trying to lose weight, you probably have a goal, your ideal weight, in mind. A good question to ask yourself is, "Where did I get this number?"
Is it what you weighed in high school? Is it what health experts suggest you should weigh, based on your age, body frame and body type?

While weight loss is an admirable goal for a woman who is truly overweight, many women who want to lose weight don't need to. In study after study, researchers have found that the majority of normal weight women think they need to lose 10 or 15 pounds: what I call vanity pounds.

Why is this a problem?

If our happy weight is based on unrealistic expectations, it will cause us much pain and suffering. We'll exhaust ourselves, trying to achieve the impossible. We'll live in fear: when we've lost weight, we're fearful of gaining it back; when we've gained a few pounds, we're fearful that the scale will keep rising. We may delve into all sorts of whacked out behaviors: crash dieting, food obsession, fasting, and overexercising in our desire to reach our goal.

Unrealistic expectations can create an unhealthy focus on our appearance. You can only be 10 pounds underweight if you're working very, very hard: by exercising for hours a day and being very stringent about what you eat. These behaviors can easily morph into an eating disorder.

The flip side, accepting a realistic happy weight, may mean giving up our wishful thinking of being a size 2. This can be painful; I know. But the rewards of letting go of our impossible expectations are many: vitality, feeling satisfied by the variety and amount of food we eat, energy, stable moods, confidence and a healthy appreciation for our appearance instead of obsession. It's also a sure way to temper the jealousy you may feel about other pretty women.

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